Roller Derby World Cup: The United Nations of Ass-Kicking

This year, from December second to the fourth, the worldwide roller derby community gets something new to injure itself during. The Roller Derby World Cup, held in Toronto, Ontario, Canada is the first of its kind and it is a sign that roller derby is still growing. It's a very exciting time to be on skates. Derby players from thirteen countries will play for the very first world championship. There will be signs in several languages. Fans from New Zealand will spill beer on fans from Germany. The after-parties may end in bloodshed and the initiations of long-distance love affairs.

Let me be clear: I am deeply excited for the World Cup. I have my ticket and my spot on a friend's floor, if I happen to sleep while I'm there. But the World Cup does remind us about specific barriers that exist in derby.

Financially, teams need to be able to pony up or raise funds for travel, food and accommodations. Individual players need to be able to take and able to afford potential time off work, in addition to the fact that the burden of paying for the team's costs will probably land most heavily on them. Anyone in a league knows players will toss in their own money when the team needs it, sometimes even when that's not a great financial decision. (For folks interested in supporting their teams, check this list of links to teams' web sites and chances to donate.) Derby is an expensive sport and as I've discussed before, it's up to us as a community to try to ease that burden on players.

More generally, while having players from thirteen countries is very, very exciting, that's thirteen out of about one hundred and ninety seven, if the internet doesn't lie to me. This isn't to say that I expect the Vatican to attempt to put together a team, but I do think this is an opportunity to recognize that derby is not a worldwide sport. It is mostly limited to developed nations (I recognize the inherent linguistic issue with that term, but it's all I have at the moment). If derby is really going to spread, if we can have a world cup that does reflect the amazing beauty and diversity of the world, we need to consider how to make the sport more accessible in the face of economic and cultural differences. And I have no idea how to do that, but I think if we as an increasingly worldwide community start talking about it, using the world cup as a chance for derby players to talk to each other, we're rolling in the right direction.

Getting Lapped by the Best: Derby Celebrities

Last Wednesday, I had a brush with fame. While skating the the North London Optimist Community Centre in London, Ontario, a friend of mine pointed out Killson, a FCDG player and a member of Team Canada for the 2011 1st Annual Roller Derby World Cup. We fangirled over her skating posture and general coolness. The experience provided a good example of what celebrity means in roller derby.

Not the only star on the flat-track.

Because of roller derby's DIY-nature and outsider status, we don't have our own versions of Anna Kournikova or Derek Jeter - though I'm sure they'd both be great on quads. I think the most famous derby player at the moment is Suzy Hotrod, jammer for Gotham Girls Roller Derby All-Stars and the Queens of Pain, who was profiled in ESPN's 2011 Bodies We Want Issue (warning: link leads to naked folks, NSFW).  But for the most part, even derby players famous within the sport have day-jobs and put their booty shorts on one leg at a time, like everyone else.

As roller derby grows, naturally the gap between star players and fans may widen. Until then, even our best remain pretty regular (or highly irregular) women. They aren't paid. They aren't endorsing anything. They probably aren't on steroids. In roller derby culture,  your hero can be the girl sitting next to you on the bench.

Credit: Natalie 'Vegas' Buragina

Most sports do tend to breed heroes, it's true. But how many, say, hockey fans can say they were lapped by Sidney Crosby? Last week, I skated on the same rink as a member of the team representing my country at the first roller derby world cup ever. A friend of mine almost crashed into her. It was awesome. One of things I love about roller derby is that the absolute queens of our sport are still players, still just women on skates, chasing the track.

The Roller Rink: Not Just for Birthday Parties in the 1950's

For aspiring roller derby skaters, the local roller rink is a crucial resource that often goes overlooked. One of the keys to improving is practice, but skaters often get caught up in the idea that they can only skate during team practices or when the weather outside is conducive to getting your quads on. While outdoor skating is a fabulous habit (and teaches you to look out for cars), rink skating is usually available on a consistent basis, relatively cheaply (even if you’re renting skates, you can usually get away with $12 Canadian or less), and skating at the rink means skating in company, which can be great for your motivation. Being lapped by someone’s grandmother might be demoralizing at first, but you’ll soon learn from watching experienced skaters and trying your best to keep up.

Rink skating has its downsides. Skating with a crowd of strangers can be intimidating. For more experienced skaters, the crowd might be an annoyance you can’t hip-check your way through. The music selection can be iffy and couples’ skating is no fun unless you’ve come to the rink with friends. The better you know your local rink, the better you’ll be able to navigate its foibles.

With all of those caveats in mind, roller rinks give you what you really need, namely the time to improve. You may not be able to determine what you learn during team practice, but in the rink, your time is basically your own. Usually the inner circle of the rink is open for skills practice and more often than not, there are experienced skaters willing to provide some guidance. (For extra points, check in with skaters in your league and ask if they’re going. Get a group in the habit of going and your skills and motivation will quickly ramp up.)

So, if it’s your first time at the rink, here are five quick suggestions for a successful trip.

1)Bring water. You will get sweaty if you’re doing this right.
2)Invite other skaters. Offer gas money or a ride. Company will keep you motivated.
3)On your breaks, pick a skater and watch how their technique. Mirror them once you’re back on skates.
4)Bring a snack with you to keep your energy up.
5)Boogie. Seriously. It’ll keep you working on your balance and no-one stands out for looking strange at a roller rink.

For Canadian rinks, look here and here for rinks in Ontario. For rinks in the US and other countries, check  here. And don’t forget your skate rental fee in addition to the entry fee, if you don’t have skates of your own yet. Nobody likes shoe prints on the rink floor.

Getting Back on Skates + Fitness Challenge

Due to starting up my PhD, my actual time on skates has been pretty much nil. For the same reason, my time to blog has been basically nonexistent. After some hair-tearing and soul-searching, I put my skates back on last Friday. I've also decided to keep blogging on Mondays and Thursdays, so please check back on those days for new posts.

Last Friday was the beginning of LOCO's Best Fit You challenge. Skaters can, if they choose, compete in three areas, each with its own 10-skate card as a prize. Our areas are highest percentage of weight loss, highest percentage of improvement for a fitness test, and a point-based day by day system of eating according to Canada's Food Guide. Some skaters are opposed to the food guide challenge, others to the weight loss, but I decided to try all three. Though I'm not a fan of the weight-loss challenge (for reasons of size acceptance), I took part largely because I don't have a  scale at home and I was curious to see whether there would be any corresponding change in my weight after the challenge.

But I digress. Getting back on skates can be intimidating. I hadn't skated in ages. I was worried that my fellow skaters would have continued getting more awesome while I was hunched over Ulysses in the PhD1 cave. This of course was indeed the case, but I was welcomed back regardless. I chose to work with the newer skaters, because my skill acquisition has been a bit patchwork and my T-stops are terrible. (They still are.)

In some ways, the Best Fit You challenge was incredibly well-timed. It gave me a clear starting point to get back on my quads and a clear structure of activity and nutrition aimed toward a specific end-point. Structure can be key to getting back on skates: often, we've stopped skating because we stopped making time for it. Having the sense that the structure is being imposed for us (in this case, in the form of a league-wide challenge) can make getting back on skates seem easier than it really is. Am I advocating tricking yourself into skating? Frankly, yes.

League or team challenges can be a great way of encouraging absent skaters to get back in the game. It's not really about winning: it's about having these structures ready-made for skaters who are looking for reasons to skate but aren't great at self-motivating.

Now, I'm off lose a point for drinking coffee. It's totally worth it.

The Game of the Name: Roller Derby Monikers

A roller derby player has several  things in common with a superhero.  A costume. Super powers (booty blocking included). Fans. And a secret identity.

Every player has her on-track persona, exemplified by her name. Our very own Team Canada has Killson from FCDG, Rainbow Fight from 709 Derby Girls, Georgia W Tush from Montreal  . And these women are superheroes on skates, make no mistake.

Derby names range from the cute to the punny to the frankly frightening.  And every one is unique – see for yourself. It’s true that there are some suspiciously similar names, but the roster is vetted for those. Once a name is put on there, it can’t be copied.

I recently read a really interesting post on derby names that posited that in order for the sport to move forward, names need to be vetted for content as well as originality. The post correctly points out that sexist, misogynistic or offensive names shouldn’t have a place in derby.

But it can be difficult to separate sexist from sexy and offensive from outspoken. There are terms I use that some might argue don’t have a place in family-friendly roller derby. For example, I have no problem with positive reclamation of the word 'cunt' (Man, my Google hits are about to take a sudden left turn). And here’s where I disagree with the idea that derby names need to be policed for the good of the sport.

Roller derby is not soccer. It’s a sport that was rooted in crash commercialism and then revived and literally taken over by the women who played it. It’s not just a sport: it’s a battleground.  Roller derby is typified by a DIY esthetic and an in-your-face bravado.  It’s not a typical sport, nor should it be.

It’s not that I don’t think derby should spread. It’s doing that as we speak, crass names and all. But do I want roller derby in the Olympics? Frankly, no (and not just because several team sports like baseball aren’t either). To me, roller derby is best as an outsider sport and not because I want us to get to keep all the derby goodness to ourselves.  I want derby to grow without compromising what makes it special, namely that DIY principle, that feminist practice, that outrageous name on the back of a jersey.

But let's remember, folks: if your name isn't worthy of a superheroine, maybe you should reconsider, not for the sport, but for the players and fans around you. While you're busy being your own hero, you might be someone else's, too.

3ZH4SAGBVFUR

Business Review - Rollergirl

Today is our first business review, in which I'll describe my experience buying from a roller derby-related business. I thought I would start off by reviewing Rollergirl, a Canadian-owned, derby-owned business located in Vancouver, British Columbia. Here are the details.

What I Had Heard Prior to my Purchase:  Rollergirl came highly recommended by my fellow skaters. Their site has great resources for skaters and good selection. My biggest concern was pricing: I'm a derby girl on a budget and Rollergirl has only one yearly sale. It's a substantial sale, depending on what you're buying. This year, the best deals were on wheels, largely. Rollergirl also sponsors leagues, which is pretty cool.

The Buy: Riedell 265s with Flatout Wheels and Bones REDS bearings
Skate Tool
Riedell Toe Snouts

The Process: Before purchasing the skates, I was concerned about sizing. Since this was my first pair of new skates, I had originally wanted to buy them in a brick and mortar store, so I could be sure of the sizing. Since I couldn't find the price or model I wanted in London or Toronto, I decided to lie in wait for the yearly sale.

Rollergirl offers a sizing guarantee and has employees available by phone or email to guide you through the sizing process. Sizing is usually guaranteed - if the skates you order don't fit, they'll pay all shipping costs involved in the exchange except for international orders outside the U.S.

In my case, I emailed back and forth with an employee ahead of the sale, because they do not answer the phone or emails on the day of the sale.

Rollergirl.ca

The Result: All my gear arrived safely and in a timely fashion, considering I'd ordered the cheapest shipping. The package contained detailed instructions for attaching my toe snouts, which was a life-saver. I was a very satisfied customer.

Verdict: Rollergirl is a great online retailer. The customer service was unparalleled. However, prices can seem a bit steep, given just how much equipment is needed for derby. I would recommend waiting for Rollergirl's early spring sale and/or consider splitting shipping costs with a league-mate. Check to see if your league is sponsored by Rollergirl. Follow their sizing instructions if they apply to your purchase.

Details: Rollergirl's website
Rollergirl's Store
Returns Policy

What's in a Derby Name? Choosing Your Persona

At the risk of passing on whatever Lovecraftian illness I have, which does seem to be aggressive enough to spread itself via blog posts, today we're talking choosing a derby name (more on the derby name as a phenomenon later this week).

Often, new roller derby players have a name in mind before they've tried their skates on. Others have months to find the right one. In both cases, they sometimes end up finding it's already taken by checking the International Rollergirl's Master Roster, (as we all must). When I started out, I was devastated "Bettie Rage" and "Pain Austen" had already been scooped up. Whether you're just starting out considering the name you'll give to your derby life or you've come back to the drawing board, here's one model of picking your name and then some suggestions more generally.

When I started skating, I made a list of names I liked. Being a grad student in the humanities, I went largely for puns related to literature. When the more obvious ones were taken (though "Charlotte Brawn-te" is still free, I think) I got creative. Not every skater uses a pun for her name, but I'm very into puns, so making weak plays on words felt natural to me. In the midst of a brainstorming session (and boy, was there a list of at least fifteen possible names), I thought of "Cthulhu Lemon", riffing on H.P. Lovecraft's "Call of Cthulhu", a cosmic horror story, and LuluLemon, purveyor of expensive yoga gear.

Terrible, Terrible Photoshop by me. Yes, that is a Lemon

In my case, I risked a lot of folks not getting my name or even knowing how to pronounce it. With my stutter, I myself have a lot of trouble with the hard 'C' at the beginning of my derby name. I can admit that this is at least a bit funny. I'm often Lemon for short. These were things I should have considered, though accessibility and pronunciation will matter more or less depending on the player. All in all, I love my name because it's geeky and weird and that's me on or off the track.

Seven Suggestions For Selecting Your Sobriquet

1) For guidance, try picking a theme. Celebrity names are often a go-to (our league has Kat von Damage). Riffs on your real name are also a possibility (hence our Killer Suenami). Do you want it to relate to your hobbies, your work (our own Sewer Princess works for the city), your own personality, or on the flipside, something with nothing to do with your real life at all?
2) Get ideas from friends and family. You'll get some groaners, sure, but they may surprise you.
3) Brainstorm, brainstorm, brainstorm. Have back-ups. There are a lot of derby girls out there and some of them might already have the name you want. Don't just change one letter so you get to be "Betteee Rage". Get creative. Having a great derby name is a point of pride.
4) Consider how the name will shape the expectations of other players. Do you want to seem fast, sly ...homicidal? Consider how it will make *you* feel to be called by a certain name or a shortened version of this name.
5) Check your name out. Is it offensive? Is it misogynistic? Remember this is a representation of you and your league. This is what you might be called while playing for your country at the Roller Derby World Cup, if you're particularly awesome.
6) Consider the implications of your name more directly. If it's a joke, do you care if people get it? Are you willing to explain if necessary? (Warning: this *can* be a bit of a hassle, but it's worth it if you love it.)
7) Check out resources like Rollergirl's Guide to picking your name, SVRG's Ultimate Guide, or Cherry Rockette's guide, which is particularly good for laying out considerations for the Master Roster.

Get your thinking helmets on, ladies.